Why Spring Clean? Spring isn’t just about warmer weather and blooming flowers—it’s a time of deep-rooted cleaning traditions found in cultures across the world. From Persian Nowruz, where homes are thoroughly cleaned to welcome the new year, to Jewish Passover preparations, where every crumb of leavened bread is removed, to Thailand’s Songkran Festival, where homes are cleaned and water is splashed to symbolize renewal—cleaning in spring has long symbolized a fresh start.

But beyond scouring shelves, scrubbing floors, and splashing water, there are spaces that hold the key to making a delightful difference in your life. Here are four powerful spaces to clean this spring for a major reset.

1. Your Space: Clean Your Environment, Boost Your Energy

Your surroundings shape your focus, mood, and productivity. Whether at home or in the office, a cluttered, dusty space can drain your energy without you even realizing it. This spring, refresh your space with a deep clean and declutter:

✔ Clear high-traffic zones: Tidy up entryways, desks, and surfaces that collect daily clutter.
✔ Deep clean neglected spots: Dust vents, wash windows, and clear out drawers or cabinets.
✔ Simplify and refresh: Donate what you don’t use, improve lighting, and add small touches like plants to create a more inviting space.

Why it matters: A cleaner, more organized environment reduces stress, boosts productivity, and makes every day feel lighter and more focused.

2. Your Digital Space: Declutter Your Devices

If your phone, laptop, or inbox is a mess, it can drain your energy just as much as a cluttered home. This spring, give your digital life its due attention:

✔ Clean up your inbox: Unsubscribe from emails you never read.
✔ Organize your desktop: Sort files into folders and get rid of outdated documents.
✔ Declutter your social media: Unfollow accounts that no longer inspire you and mute the negative.

Why it matters: A cleaner digital space means less mental clutter, fewer distractions, and more focus on what truly matters.

3. Your Social Space: Strengthen the Right Connections

Relationships can be energizing—or draining. Just like your home and inbox, your social circle might need a reset too. This spring, take stock of who and what you’re investing your time in:

✔ Reconnect with people who uplift you: Reach out to old friends or plan quality time with loved ones.
✔ Set boundaries where needed: If certain relationships feel toxic or one-sided, consider limiting the time and energy spent with them.
✔ Clean up your social calendar: Are you overcommitted? Say no to obligations that don’t bring joy or growth.

Why it matters: Your time and energy are valuable—protect them by surrounding yourself with people and activities that align with your values and well-being.

4. Your Mental Space: Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

Spring cleaning isn’t just about externals—it’s about refreshing your mindset too. Take time to:

✔ Reevaluate commitments: Are you saying yes to things that drain you? It’s time to set boundaries.
✔ Let go of negative self-talk: Challenge limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones.
✔ Create a self-care reset: Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or simply taking more mindful breaks, make space for what nourishes you.

Why it matters: Cleaning your mental space creates room for new energy, better habits, and greater clarity in your life.

Final Thoughts: Your Spring Reset Starts Now

By refreshing these four spaces—your environment, your digital world, your social life, and your mind—you’re not just tidying up, you’re creating a better, brighter life with more clarity, energy, and connection. A fresh space, a decluttered digital world, and stronger relationships all support a clear and focused mind—the foundation for lasting wellness.

For a quick, simple, yet powerful way to reset your mindset, try my Power Breathing Exercise—a fast and effective practice to ground yourself and bring fresh energy into everything in your life.

👉 Visit https://madelaineweiss.com/power_breathing/ to get started!

Love,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

Why Do We Love Nature?

Some say it’s because landscapes remind us deeply of the lush habitat of the savanna – the favorable environment in which the biggest part of our evolutionary brain development is said to have taken place. There was 2016 research suggesting that just 30 minutes per week is enough to make a huge positive physical and mental difference in our lives: 

People who visit parks for 30 minutes or more each week are much less likely to have high blood pressure or poor mental health than those who don’t, according to new research by Australian and UK environmental scientists…. parks offered health benefits including reduced risks of developing heart disease, stress, anxiety, and depression. ‘If everyone visited their local parks for half an hour each week there would be seven percent fewer cases of depression and nine percent fewer cases of high blood pressure’.

It could be argued that our human fascination with nature is hardwired into our psyche, a relic of our ancestral past where green, open spaces signaled safety and abundance. These landscapes, often untouched by the crazy pace of modern civilization, offer a momentary return to simplicity and tranquility. The idea that a mere 30 minutes each week spent in such environments could significantly uplift our spirits and our health is not just intriguing, it’s almost magical, if not essential for our physical and mental health.

What the New Study Found

Now, researchers are finding that a 40-minute walk in nature significantly improves executive control. This includes, “working memory, decision making, problem-solving and coordinating disparate tasks,” things that matter a lot in work and life, as you know.

And no, it wasn’t just the 40 minutes of exercise, because the study controlled for that. Half of the participants walked in a nearby urbanized setting, with a similar elevation to the more natural setting, to make sure that results were not due to the exercise of the walk. Exercise has its benefits, of course, but not as much as when in nature, they found.

Now these University of Utah researchers are looking into which kinds of natural settings are best for optimizing the brain’s executive functioning, and how long the exposure has to be for there to be an effect that makes it worth your time.

Really, how many people can easily find 40 minutes to take a walk? Chances are that often enough in those moments when you most need your brain to be at its sharpest, you are also involved in something that makes it hard to find 40 minutes for a stroll, somewhere green out there.

Therefore, what?

What Else Can Help

What if you don’t happen to have a park nearby? Even if you did have a park nearby, first you’d have to get to the park and then you’d have to get back home or to the office, and that all takes time. Who has that kind of time? You do, we all do because if we can’t get to the park, well then we can just bring the park to us. Plants. Yes, plants help us de-stress too, and the Huffington Post even tells us exactly which plants to get.

This from an earlier post:

But maybe you travel or don’t have the right exposure for plants. Ok then, did you know that “Fireplace For Your Home” offers gorgeous greenery with a running brook, sound and all, which can be accessed on YouTube and Netflix. The funny thing about the brain is that as smart as it is, it can’t always tell the difference between what’s real or imagined.

 So, for example, when Harvard psychology professor, Ellen Langer, told hotel maids that their work was physical exercise their health measures improved, relative to the health measures of the hotel maids who thought they were just cleaning rooms. There were similar health benefits for seniors whom Langer instructed to imagine, and live for a period of time as if they had gone back in time and were much younger again.

Use your imagination. Bring to mind a time and place of green. Merge it with your breath. Breathing in through the nose, out through the nose. When the mind wanders bring the mind back to your beautiful green.

Practice, practice, practice, and see what happens… To work on this or something else, would love to hear from you weissmadelaine@gmail.com

Warmly,

Madelaine 

Photo by Freepik

What’s Wrong with Meetings?

I actually love virtual meetings just as much as in-person meetings. Okay, maybe I love them more just because of how incredibly convenient they are.

Other people say they are tired of virtual. And, that could be because virtual meetings really do make our brains tired. That’s what researchers are finding. 

Before we get to that let’s talk a bit about the benefits. From an earlier post: 

…virtual meetings make it possible for different types of personalities to contribute in ways that suit them.

From a Harvard Business Review article: Hybrid or virtual meetings are inherently more inclusive than in-person ones, as they allow participation from all kinds of personalities — those who would raise their hand and speak and those who would prefer to chat in their comments.

And here are some fun facts from that same post:

• 71% of meetings are considered unproductive, costing $37 billion per year to American business.
• 55 million meetings per week in the U.S., 11 million per week, 1 billion per year
• 65% of employees agree meetings prevent work completion
• 41% multitask during meeting
• 91% daydream during meeting
• 55% think the meeting could have been an email

Studies have found that less than 2% of conversations end at a point when both people want them to, and that only about 10% of the time did both people wish the conversation had lasted longer.

Advice from Zippia:

The ideal meeting length is about 15 minutes. Studies show that in meetings that are no longer than 15 minutes, 91% of attendees are paying attention. This number steadily declines until it reaches only 64% in meetings over 45 minutes….You improve work meetings by determining the reason for the meeting beforehand, setting and distributing an agenda before the meeting, and limiting the meeting attendees to 10, maximum. As Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says, “if you need more than two pizzas to feed everybody, there are too many people.”

Hope some of that helps with in-person getting together, in general. Now, what’s different about the virtual kind? 

What’s Different About Virtual Meetings?

Here is what the 2 studies found. One found that video conferencing was significantly more exhausting than the in-person kind, characterized by feeling tired and alienated. 

In addition to the subjective reporting of previous studies, these researchers tested the neurophysiology (EEG and ECG) of participants who either attended a 50-minute lecture in-person or by video conferencing, concluding that: 

A better understanding of videoconference fatigue is important, as this phenomenon has a far-reaching impact on the well-being of individuals, interpersonal relationships and organizational communication. 

The other study, reported by Science Daily at the same time, explored the drowsiness that occurred during 400 meetings of 44 knowledge workers. These researchers also used physiological methods, shadowed participants to link responses to events, and administered questionnaires to assess how engaged and enthusiastic participants were about their work.

What they found was that the better the participants felt about their work, the better they could stay actively engaged in a virtual meeting without fatigue. Less engaged and enthusiastic participants found virtual very tiring, and more tiring than the in-person kind. 

Here are some possible reasons.  Contrary to the commonly held idea that Zoom causes overload, if disengaged workers turn their cameras off, let’s say, the lack of cognitive and social cues can leave them underloaded (understimulated) instead. As in, bored. 

So they start multitasking, and it is straining to focus cognitively on more than one thing at once that exhausts the brain. The brain doesn’t do two things at once very well.  

For example, an MIT Neuroscientist explains what happens if we try to take a phone call in the middle of a writing project:

The brain has to stop focusing on writing, switch to listening, and then back to writing. But in returning to the first task, the brain has to use more energy to focus and get back into the flow. According to Professor Miller, the small interruption wastes time and increases the chances of making mistakes. 

And yet, we are wired to try anyway because, back in the day when the modern human brain was being formed, it was good to be able to pay attention to a few important matters at the same time. Food over here, danger over there—stop whatever you are doing, reproductive opportunity right now. 

Today, however, there are more than a few things calling on our attention, and the brain is just not designed to handle it all.  

So, what’s the takeaway? What can we do to improve virtual and in-person meetings, lectures, and any other occasions where we have to pay attention when we feel like doing anything but?

What is the Takeaway?

The authors of the second study say to walk. Walking is automatic so the brain doesn’t need to strain to make it happen. And walking can energize and assist rather than impede concentration. 

High-powered leaders must know this. “Walk with me,” they say. And it always seems so cool. But we can’t always do that. We can’t always invite people to walk around with us in the middle of a meeting, or a talk, or even to walk around going nowhere or somewhere ourselves. 

No worries, there is something else we can do anywhere, any time. And that is to laser-focus our attention on the one thing we are there to do. You may think that disciplining the mind that way will take more energy and make you more tired than if you let your mind wander around all over the place. But I bet you would be wrong 😉 

Practice, practice, practice…let us know what happens, and for help with this or something else, Contact Me at wessmadelaine@gmail.com

Happy Thanksgiving!

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

What About Information? 

Information is everywhere: ∼6 × 10⁸⁰ bits of information in the observable universe. That would be 6 times 71 million zeroes bits, if you can fathom that.

Out of this, the senses pluck and send 11,000,000 bits per second to the brain. And, guess how many bits are conscious. Fifty. That’s right, we are consciously aware of only fifty bits out of all that.

Obviously, we humans can’t handle too much. And yet, we heap more and more information on ourselves and each other every day, too much of it drivel.

Why, we may ask? Is it just because we can? Well, yes of course, technological advancements, digitalization and online content, and the open access to user-generated content and social media have all contributed to the explosion of information available and accessible to us all of the time.

But it is not only because we can. It is also because we feel we have to, related to a list of fears starting with FO, for Fear of, including but not limited to: 

FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

FOBO: Fear of Better Options 

Even… 

FOGO, or a Fear of Going Out, let’s say pandemic or crime related, that now has us on our screens ad nauseam, down the rabbit hole we go.

The above FOs are only a few of the many fears and anxieties feeding our information craze. Not the least of these would have to be Ernest Becker’s fear of the inevitable demise we as human beings all face. 

On a more positive note, isn’t it also the case that our information-rich society fuels learning, innovation, and global connectivity. These can be mighty good things for us, as long as we remain in charge of them instead of them in charge of us, as the AI gurus are now warning.

This brings us to the pros and cons of information—and communication—or the “process by which information is exchanged between individuals.”

Pros of Communication

1. Information Exchange: Communication allows for the exchange of ideas, knowledge, and information between individuals or groups, facilitating learning, growth, and understanding.

2. Building Relationships: Effective communication forms the foundation for healthy and meaningful relationships, fostering trust, empathy, and connection with others. 

3. Collaboration and Teamwork: Communication is essential for successful collaboration and teamwork. It enables individuals to share their perspectives, coordinate efforts, and work towards common goals. 

4. Conflict Resolution: Open and effective communication plays a vital role in resolving conflicts and misunderstandings. It allows for the expression of concerns, active listening, and finding mutually agreeable solutions. 

5. Personal and Professional Development: Engaging in communication activities, such as public speaking, presentations, or networking, helps individuals develop their interpersonal, leadership, and negotiation skills, contributing to personal and professional growth.

And, just so you know, we have been doing this thing called ‘talking’ for hundreds of thousands if not millions of years. From my book, Getting to G.R.E.A.T.:

How else could our ancestors negotiate who got to eat how much and which cut of the

meat from the hunt? How else would they have been able to make deals, detect cheaters, alert each other to danger, and the like?

Why couldn’t they just do it with the wave of a hand or a point of the finger—“Berries over here, ferocious beast over there”? Because finger-pointing wouldn’t work in the dark, for one thing, and even if it was light out, they’d have to be looking at each other all the time, just in case someone decided to “say” something with their finger—instead of either resting their eyes or using them to scan outward for food, danger, sex opportunities, and the like.

Something else was needed, so evolution came up with the idea of using the human tongue for communication…. By putting the tongue to work, hands could do all kinds of useful things, like carrying babies, tools, and other objects, so our early ancestors could move more easily to safer environments, where more food and water could be found (pp.73-74).

Speaks for itself, so to speak. Now for some of the Cons. 

Cons of Communication

1. Misunderstandings and Misinterpretations: Communication can be prone to misunderstandings and misinterpretations due to factors such as differences in language, cultural backgrounds, or non-verbal cues, leading to confusion or conflict.

2. Information Overload: With the vast amount of information available, communication channels can become overwhelming, resulting in information overload and difficulty in filtering out relevant and accurate information.

3. Barriers to Effective Communication: Various barriers, such as language barriers, noise, distractions, or poor listening skills, can hinder effective communication, leading to misunderstandings, ineffective collaborations, and strained relationships.

4. Emotional Impact: Communication can evoke strong emotions and trigger conflicts, especially in sensitive or challenging discussions. Emotional responses, such as anger, frustration, or hurt feelings, can hinder constructive communication. 

5. Communication Breakdowns: Ineffective communication can result in communication breakdowns, where messages are not properly conveyed or received, leading to misunderstandings, decreased productivity, and damaged relationships.

Here is another, I believe deserving of more attention than it gets.

Information Burdening 

The Harvard Business Review reported on a Gartner study of 1000 employees and managers. And what they found was the following:

Information volume, as it turns out, is only a partial driver of information overload. Rather, the real culprit is the information itself — and specifically the degree to which the accessing and interpreting of the information imposes extra “work” on its recipient. This is what we call information burden.

Information burden is defined as a set of information that is:

• Duplicative: 57% of employees and managers say they often receive multiple communications about the same or similar topics at the same time.
• Irrelevant: 47% say that the company communications they receive are unrelated to their day-to-day responsibilities.
• Effort Intensive: 38% say they have to do extra work to keep up with the amount of information they receive at their organization.
• Inconsistent: 33% say that the company communications they receive are often inconsistent or internally conflicting.

In other words, many employees and managers are suffering from and complaining about company communications; including such issues as duplication, irrelevance, the need for extra effort to manage the information and inconsistencies.

At work and at home, what if we all try a little harder not to Information burden each other. And, here it is from the ancients, the simple idea that communications should pass the test of ‘true, kind, necessary, and beneficial’ if they are to exist at all.

Practice, Practice, Practice…and see what happens. And for help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

Warmly,

Madelaine

Photo by FreePik

The Problem with Time

February was Time Management Month, and just this week I noticed with a client that the problem with time was more a problem with anxiety than time.

And it was not even that something bad had happened to cause all the anxiety that was making everything take longer. In fact, it was something very, very good. Let me explain.

Charlie had been grumpy for a while about being passed over for more prestigious and satisfying responsibilities at work.

Through shifts he made in how he presents himself with others, lo and behold, all of a sudden, those very responsibilities landed smack on his plate.

This was a good thing that didn’t feel like a good thing for 2 reasons: 1) humans typically associate feeling anxious with something bad; and 2) now that he really did have so much more to do, he worried where he would find the time.

The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, Social Readjustment Rating Scale demonstrates clearly that even good things, such as vacations, job promotions…can be stressful.

The item on that scale that says it best is the change in the number of arguments with your partner. The stress points for that are not based on whether there are more or fewer arguments, but simply that there has been a change in the number of arguments in either direction.

So, it is the demand on our system to adjust to something new that feels like something bad is going on.

And all Charlie needed was to realize that everything was more than just fine—with the higher brain (rather than the anxious brain) in charge of getting it all done.

How to Use a Power No

The Power No is my favorite time management tool. Here’s how that goes.

Within every Yes there is a No. That is, because you said yes to something you have exactly that much less time and energy for something else.

Likewise, within every No there is a Yes. That is, because saying no to one thing frees up time for something else, even if that something else is to do nothing at all.

But No is not always No. Often enough No is really just Not Now. So, for a bit of alliteration, how about a grid with 3 columns: Delegate, Delay, or Dump.

Charlie loved the idea of organizing and implementing everything he had to do within this framework. But that was only after we had gotten him out of his anxious mind and into his calm, clear, and focused mind instead.

Here’s a case example of how mindset saves and grows time—oh, and money too.

Case Example: ‘A Stitch in Time’

This from an earlier post, a favorite story of mine:

I went back to the office and found a mistake on the masthead that I would never have found before I took this course.”

That’s what this woman, in publishing for a large prestigious university, had to say after a brief stint with mindfulness meditation. She went on to explain how much time catching that mistake saved them all.

And, we can figure that, since time is money, good chance finding that mistake saved them money too — if nothing else the cost in time and money of issuing an apology or correction for whatever it was.

This happened about 20 years ago and, of course, as a student, teacher, and practitioner of mindfulness myself, it was then — and still is — music to my ears.

From Power Breath to Power No

What the woman in the story above did was breathe herself into a more powerful state.

First, we settle down the anxiety that makes everything harder and more time consuming—best and easiest way to add more hours in the day for all kinds of things in work and life.

Go here for your 30 Second Mindset Reset, and let us know what you find. And for help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

Warm wishes,

Madelaine

https://madelaineweiss.com

Photo by Pexels Eugene Shelestov

Getting Stuff Done 

One Touch Method, Huh? Well, this week a colleague posted a question on Linkedin about productivity strategies. I said that I try to knock off as much of the simpler stuff as I can, as soon as I can, because then I feel free and clear for the more complex tasks.

This is just a personal preference that might not work for everyone, but it works well for me, and people in my world seem to really appreciate how quickly I get back to them.

People think it is because I am nice. I like to think I am nice too, but it is at least as much because this strategy just makes my life work.

In any case, my colleague, Jim Reis, replied something like: ‘One Touch Method. Love it.’

Wait, it has a name? I did not know that. How did I not know that? Anyway, thanks to my colleague, now I do and want to share it with you—because according to Reuters our productivity numbers weren’t all that good in 2022.

But first, here is Jim’s article “Productivity Tips: How to Set Yourself Up for Success in 2023,” in which he unpacks the following strategies for us:

1. Have a Morning Routine
2. Set Up Calendar Blocks
3. Delegate Your Tasks
4. Ask Others to Keep You Accountable
5. Utilize Online Productivity Tools
6. Prepare the Night Before
7. Limit Your Distractions

And now, what is the One Touch Method, One Touch Rule, Touch It Once (TIO) Principle…yes, I have seen it written all of these ways. 

One Touch Method 

It’s pretty literal actually. My research suggests the One Touch Rule, originally conceived by productivity expert, Ann Gomez, can be applied in many areas of our lives; for example, to declutter our homes:

The rule is: put away your things immediately and avoid handling them more than once after you’re done with them. That’s it.

As regards your inbox, per se, Holy Hannah, the inbox, right? from time management and productivity coach, Alexis Haselberger:

For all incoming items, you commit to only touching them once. Specifically, this applies to emails, texts, Slack messages, voicemails, and even paper mail—anything that’s coming at you into your virtual or physical inbox. 

The one-touch rule is amazing not only for time-management, but for stress and anxiety as well. It helps you quickly handle each incoming message and move forward, instead of letting it fester in your brain. 

Haselberger goes on to say that on the first touch we decide (one touch) whether to archive what doesn’t need a response, to respond to what does, and to add to your task list what needs to happen, but not now, later.

Of course, there are all kinds of ‘if, ands, and buts’ to prioritizing and such, for some so many that they have soured on the method.

No worries. Founder of Asian Efficiency, Thanh Pham, breaks the whole thing down for us with graphs, decision trees. flowcharts, examples, whatever we need, in “The ‘Touch it Once’ Principle That Will Skyrocket Your Personal Efficiency.”

Here’s the thing: Most of what I read was about getting things done. This is great because uncompleted tasks gnaw at our minds, which:

…inhibits your ability to fully process whatever you’re working on in the moment”. Each time you think about an uncompleted task you waste your mental energy, further decreasing your productivity.

Focus and Release

But I know, maybe you do too, that even after tasks are complete, they are not necessarily done.

For example, the email came in, you decided it was important to respond sooner than later, so you wrote it and sent it. Done! Right? Maybe not.

How many times have we gone back to read and reread the email that was already sent. Maybe we wonder how it will be received, if we should have said it differently, or even just to pat ourselves on the back a few times for saying it so well.

Maybe we completed and submitted the report or proposal, and now we are ‘reviewing’ that over and over again too.

So, we have an ongoing energy and productivity loss—even if one touch got it done the mind was still on it.

Help is on the way, my Focus and Release Exercise below:

Mastering Your Mind—Focus and Release

Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to stop yourself when you are engaged in an activity and have run out of time? How much of whatever we might be thinking and feeling about the job we didn’t finish lives on to contaminate the activity we move on to next?

And how much attention are we even paying to the activity we are doing in the moment we are doing it? One improperly attended activity after another can ruin the enjoyment and results of that activity and burden you with an overall sense of dissatisfaction that doesn’t need to be there.

This exercise is designed to help you learn to focus on the activity at hand, and then to put it down so you can pick something else up—and move from one activity to another with fuller attention and the satisfaction that goes with it.

To Practice:

▪ At the beginning of an activity, you may briefly close your eyes or simply gaze downward, breathing in through the nose, out through the nose…until you feel that your mind has cleared and you are present in the time and space that you are actually in.

▪ Now anchor (focus) your attention right on the activity, e.g., where your fingers hit the keyboard, the pen touches the paper, the paintbrush touches the woodwork, where the sound of a speaker’s voice hits your ear…

▪ At the end of each activity, you may deliberately put down whatever tools or objects you may have in your hands, and again breathing in through the nose, out through the nose…until you feel that you are present in the time and space that you are meant to be in.

▪ Now you may say quietly or silently to yourself: “And now I release this activity…” Even if the task had not been completed to the extent that you had planned, you have released it for the present time, and moved on in a clear, strong, ready for anything way to whatever comes next.

Practice, practice, practice…and let us know what you find. And for help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com.

Warm wishes,

Madelaine

Photo by Unsplash Alejandro Luengo

What Free Time?

Last time we talked about post pandemic ‘time warping’:

“All of a sudden everything went on stop.… We could not be the people we were used to being in the world anymore,” says health psychologist Alison Holman of the University of California, Irvine.

“People who experienced temporal disintegration … got stuck in that past experience. They couldn’t put together the flow from past to present to future,” she says.

Now we have ‘time poverty’ too:

Defined as the chronic feeling of having too many things to do and not enough time in which to do them, ‘time poverty’ is on the rise. Research shows most people feel persistently ‘time poor’, and that time poverty can have severe and wide-reaching impacts, including lower wellbeing, physical health and productivity.

Taken together—people having trouble getting moving at the same time they feel time deprived—is something that a lot of people are having to slog through right now.

Not everyone, but nearly 50% of Americans are feeling time poor, leaving them stressed, tired, and depressed.

So much for free time. And yet, a new study found that not too much, not too little, but just the right amount free time is really good for us.

And where is that 2-5 hours supposed to come from? What does free time even mean?

What is Free Time?

Free time is discretionary time. So, does it matter how the so-called free time is spent. Yes, it does.

Psychologist and professor, Cassie Holmes, warns that too much free time can interfere with our sense of purpose, which then interferes with our happiness.

So, she recommends a variety of ways to spend discretionary time that increase sense of purpose and, in so doing, our sense of being more ‘time affluent’ too.

But I want to talk about play. Just play.

What About Play?

Excerpted from an earlier post:

Here’s a good statement from performance coach, Joe Robinson:

“When you’re stressed, the brain’s activated emotional hub, the amygdala, suppresses positive mood, fueling a self-perpetuating cycle of negativity. Play can break you out of that straitjacket. It’s the brain’s reset button. This tonic we write off as trivial is a crucial engine of well-being. In its low-key, humble way, play yanks grownups out of their purposeful sleepwalk to reveal the animating spirit within. You are alive, and play will prove it to you.”

Anybody who has ever suffered burnout will tell you how practical and serious it is to bring energy back to life – at work and at home.

In fact, Harvard researchers found that play not only relieves stress but improves brain function, stimulates the mind, boosts creativity, improves relationships, builds energy and resistance to disease.

Wow. But then, if it’s that good, how come we don’t play more. Seems to me right up there with the best of ways to spend our time. And yet, a lot of folks don’t look at play that way. As one author put it:

“Our society tends to dismiss play for adults. Play is perceived as unproductive, petty or even a guilty pleasure. The notion is that once we reach adulthood, it’s time to get serious. And between personal and professional responsibilities, there’s no time to play.”

So that’s my pitch on play. And, yes, I am aware that I am talking about the purposefulness of the supposed purposelessness of play. Kind of like asking if there is really such a thing as true altruism if it’s that good to do good for the one doing the good. Doesn’t matter.

Two to 5 hours of discretionary time per day and, if you care to, go ahead and include play. Practice, practice, practice…and let us know what you find.

Warm wishes,

Madelaine

Photo by pexels-cottonbro

What Is Going On?

Did you know that there is something called “blursday,” referring to a post pandemic time warping associated with higher levels of distress.

Just this week, clients were describing experiences that sounded like time warping, more shut down or shut off than the current environment demands.

Different as they are in age, gender, ethnicity, occupation, you name it; they very much had in common a present inclination to not do a whole lot.

They also had in common lives filled with good work and lots of opportunity, so naturally I began to wonder what else might be going on.

Something about it seemed apart from common procrastination. From an earlier post, “Survey finds 94% of People Say Procrastination Hurts Their Happiness”:

A Harvard study found that more people suffer from procrastination than “alcohol, drug, abuse, or depression,” and look what it is linked to:

• • Chronic procrastination has been linked to mental health problems, stress, and lowered general well-being studies.
  • According to a recent poll, 94% of respondents said procrastination makes them unhappy.
  • Chronic procrastinators are more likely to have headaches, colds, and digestive problems.
  • A 2015 research found a link between chronic procrastination and hypertension, heart disease, and cardiovascular illness.
  • Procrastination has been linked to under performance, financial stress, and low self-esteem.

So that’s what procrastination can cause. But what’s feeding into the procrastination, if we even want to call it that?

Time Warping

And then I saw this article on the adverse effects of pandemic (and trauma in general) related time warping. From the article:

“All of a sudden everything went on stop.… We could not be the people we were used to being in the world anymore,” says health psychologist Alison Holman of the University of California, Irvine.

“People who experienced temporal disintegration … got stuck in that past experience. They couldn’t put together the flow from past to present to future,” she says.

People got stuck in the past, and a lot of them are still stuck there even as we are moving on more and more beyond the restrictions of the past.

So, here’s what I’m noticing. A lot of people I know really want to feel in charge of their lives.  

“All of a sudden everything went on stop.” And now y’all want everyone to go from Stop to Go, just because who said so?  

Not so fast, not ready yet? Don’t exactly appreciate the demands? Whose life is this anyway?

Maybe we liked some things about that slower pace. Maybe we are not ready to give it all up. Maybe we want to be the ones to decide.

So, a lot of people are saying NO, much the way a two-year-old does. NO for the sake of NO.

NO to assert oneself, even to things they really want to do. NO even to themselves.

Like Ron, who caught himself saying NO to a ballgame he really wanted to go to, had no reason not to go to, other than that the mode he is in right now is NO.

This awareness of what I learned in school to call ‘The Revolt of The I’ helped him to see where else this is happening in his life, internally too.  

That’s right, people revolt against themselves on things they know are good for them in work and life. The minute something begins to feel like a ‘should’, it can get hit internally with the blanket NO too. Not doin’ it. 

This NO strategy is ubiquitous once it gets going. But we are adults now, so we can do something a little more nuanced and sophisticated than ‘Just Say No’ to reassure ourselves that we’re in charge.  

Besides, we can never be fully in charge of our lives anyway. Other people, economic downturns, domestic and world conflict, mother nature, pandemics…have their way with us for sure.

But there are times when that’s more in our faces than others, and these times are definitely one of those times.

3 Tips for Time Warping

If the issue here is essentially that people are stuck in the past, having trouble moving on, here below is what can help:

• Mindfulness: No better way I know of to get us out of the past and into the present.
• Visioning: Another good way to get out of the past and, in this case, into your future.
• Make Room For Yes: 3 luxurious breaths, in through the nose, out through the nose…and then, with your higher brain online, ask yourself whether whatever it is that is being asked of you, or that you are asking of yourself, is really a NO—or a YES.

Practice, practice, practice… and for help with any of the above, would love to hear from you at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

Warm wishes,

Madelaine

Photo by Derek Story Unsplash

What is Procrastination?

Procrastination is “to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.”

On average, people spend 2 hours and 25 minutes/day procrastinating, much of it fooling around on the internet, even though 94% say it is adversely impacting their happiness.

Last week, we talked about the toxicity of Overthinking. In a way, they are cousins, Overthinking and Procrastinating. Both are habits of the mind designed to help us somehow. Both can easily backfire when left to their own devices.  

A Harvard study found that more people suffer from procrastination than “alcohol, drug, abuse, or depression,” and look what it is linked to:

• Chronic procrastination has been linked to mental health problems, stress, and lowered general well-being studies.
• According to a recent poll, 94% of respondents said procrastination makes them unhappy.
• Chronic procrastinators are more likely to have headaches, colds, and digestive problems.
• A 2015 research found a link between chronic procrastination and hypertension, heart disease, and cardiovascular illness.
• Procrastination has been linked to under performance, financial stress, and low self-esteem.

And yet, just as with overthinking, people almost brag about it. Some people even define themselves by the trait. Yeah, I am a procrastinator. Like it’s no big deal. Only it is a very big deal, in that a lot of people are doing it and this is not good.

So why do so many people put off doing what they believe they should do?

What Causes Procrastination?

Go here if you want to read about the 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 types of Procrastinators. I’m more interested in general causes than types, and found this great list, which you can unpack more here:

• Abstract goals.
• Outcomes that are far in the future.
• A disconnect from our future self.
• Feeling overwhelmed.
• Anxiety.
• Task aversion.
• Perfectionism.
• Fear (e.g., of failure, evaluation, or negative feedback).
• Perceived lack of control.
• ADHD.
• Depression.
• Lack of motivation.
• Lack of energy.
• Sensation seeking.

The list above got me thinking about someone I talked with just this week. Let’s call her Sue. 

Sue got called on the rug big time, by her director, for putting off things her director really wanted her to do. Turns out, Sue said that it was not that she didn’t like the tasks per se. Sometimes, that is the reason, task aversion, on the list above. But not in Sue’s case.

And, it was not that she had too much else to do. She did have other things to do, which she enjoyed more so she did those, especially since these other activities gave her a more enhanced sense of herself.

They should add something on the list about this I think, something about the role of identity. But they did list “Perceived lack of control.” Bingo! Close enough.

Sue dug a little deeper and realized she didn’t really want anyone telling her how to allocate her time. She didn’t like how that felt. She wanted to be in charge of herself. So she was having none of it, and paying the price.

Ways to Fix Procrastination

From my book GETTING TO G.R.E.A.T.: “A great life depends on a great fit between who we are and the environments in which we work and live.”

Rather than continue to procrastinate in ways that make her and others unhappy, Sue can now either get with whatever program is expected of her, or arrange her career going forward with greater autonomy—possibly in her own business, which is calling to her.

Notice by this example, however, the issue is not about time. People tend to think the problem is time. Check out the list above and you will see it is more about regulating how we feel than regulating our time.

But for any who insist it is time, i.e., that you can only do so much in a day—here from an earlier post is how you can free up a lot of energy and time by getting in control of your mind:

Researchers found that the mind wanders a whopping 70% of the time. Research also indicates that you will likely be happier when you take back some of that 70% to actually focus on what you are doing. And more productive too. When you take the mind wandering waste out of your process time, you’ll be freeing up energy for other things that matter…

Now, I have noticed with a lot of clients that the minute they commit to get something done they start fighting against it. Just another voice telling them what to do, even if it is their own!

This shows up in dieting, exercising, going to bed on time… Oh yes, there is “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination,” which has something to do with feeling controlled all day, then taking back control by doing whatever we want at night. 

It’s okay. Self-forgiveness has been found to help regulate our feelings about ourselves enough to lessen procrastination the next time around.

So we can tend it, or we can tackle it! Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule is a really great way to take charge of, to get out in front of, a procrastinating mind.

And so is Polyvagal Breathing another great way to kick our decisions about ‘to do or not to do’ upstairs to our higher functioning mind. I like to call this Power Breathing, which you can find in the “Complimentary…” box on my website at madelaineweiss.com

Practice, practice, practice…and let us know what you find.

Warmly,

Madelaine

Photo by Pixels Brett Jordan

Why Working ‘Off’ Hours Matters

‘Off’ hours would be times we think that we should not be working. To quote the Cornell and London School of Economics authors of the study:

“Even if you’re still working 40 hours a week, you’re working during time that you’ve mentally encoded as time off, or as time that should be for a vacation, and that can make you feel suddenly that your work is less enjoyable,” said Kaitlin Woolley, associate professor of marketing in the Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management, in the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business.

So, this could be working on federal holidays, or while we are on vacation, and I am supposing this would apply to working during evening hours for those who have encoded they should not really be working then either.

Of course, with WFH and Hybrid, the situation has gotten a whole lot messier, and more challenging, in terms of setting good boundaries about when to work and not. It also depends on how we define work.

Does thinking about work on ‘off’ hours count as work? I think it does. Seriously, if messed up work hours takes that big a toll on work satisfaction, well then, no wonder so many people are resigning or rethinking their work.

People who dislike (ok fine…hate) their jobs are less motivated, less supportive of others and their common goals; they are less passionate, productive, and less able to build strong, positive relationships too.

So, if you or someone you know happens to dislike or hate their job, it is clearly not just about them.

Here is the part that is more about them: Low work satisfaction is very bad for individual health. Adverse effects can include: sleep problems, anxiety, depression, and all the many disorders related to these.

But even all of that is not just about them. Typically, there are family, friends, and coworkers counting on our physical, emotional, mental wellness—not only because it affects them directly but also because they care.

The people I know who work ‘Off” hours, actually know better. They know something is not right about what they are doing. And, they do it anyway. So why don’t they stop? What makes that hard?

What Makes Setting Work-Life Boundaries Hard

The authors of the study that found the 9% decline in work satisfaction believe that part of what is going on is a perception that other people are off and having fun while the worker who is expected by their employer to work during evening, weekend, vacation, or holiday hours is not.

But it is not always an employer imposing the ‘Off’ hours work. Often, it is self-imposed which can be driven by or associated with any number of internal factors:

• Need for reassurance about one’s competence.
• Distraction from emotional challenges.
• Personality traits, such as highly conscientious, extraverted, neurotic, narcissistic

It is also true that some professions are simply more demanding than others. Doesn’t matter.

No matter what the cause, working ‘Off’ hours seems a serious matter with serious effects.

For the good of all then…for individuals, families, and organizations, here are a couple of tips for employers and individuals to get things under better control.

What Can Be Done

The authors of the study that found the 9% decrease in work satisfaction suggest that employers could build off hours work groups so people can feel that they are in it with other people. Sounds like they are talking about FOMO without using that word.

For individuals, again, there can be a variety of deeply embedded psychological or even cultural drivers. Still, I think that what matters more than the ‘why’ could be the ‘how’ to get better control over the impact of the drivers, whatever they are. How can we stay focused on our work when we think we are supposed to be working and then put the thing down. From an earlier post:

Ever notice how hard it can be to stop yourself from doing one thing to move on to the next? Ever notice how much the last thing you never really put down gets all over everything else? So maybe you wind up exhausted from carrying all of this around all day long, not paying a whole lot of quality attention to anything—and it shows.

One poorly attended activity after another can ruin both the enjoyment and results of that activity and burden you with an overall sense of fatigue and dissatisfaction that really doesn’t need to be there.

Poorly disciplined work habits are just that. Habits. And, my sense of the best way to break a bad habit is to build a new and better one. It’s like planting a new garden and letting the old one go to seed.

Here is something that can help, a free exercise called Focus and Release, which you can grab off my website. Scroll down to the “Complimentary…” box at madelaineweiss.com for the simple 1-page exercise instruction. Please enjoy, and let us know what you find!

Warmly,

Madelaine 

Photo by pexels-nataliya-vaitkevich