Sharing light and love during tender times. May the coming year bring comfort, clarity, and joy to you and all those you hold dear. 🧡

Why Should You Make a New Habit?

This post refreshes and updates one I shared last year for Self-Improvement Month, with the latest market numbers and insights for 2025. Now more than ever, with everything going on in the world — this is the perfect time to upgrade how we live our lives, for ourselves and for everyone counting on us.

September is Self-Improvement Month, and making new habits is a great way to improve yourself and your life. Maybe you thought you had ‘til January 1st to upgrade yourself and your life. But the National Calendar says the time is now.

After all, for many people, resolutions they made in January have failed by now anyway, by February actually. So now would be a good time to try again.

I always want to learn and grow this time of year anyway. People suggest vacation ideas for this time of year, the shoulder season in many terrific places, with rates lower and crowds thinner.

But not for me. For me, it’s ‘back to school’ season, with the days of repentance and renewal coming up too. So, I for one have had enough vacation, gorgeous as it was. Right now, I just want to learn and grow—and improve.

What is Self-Improvement?

Zion Market Research defines self-improvement as:

“The process of improving one’s knowledge, abilities, character, and general well-being is referred to as self-improvement. It entails making conscious efforts to grow in all spheres of one’s life—emotional, intellectual, physical, and social. Numerous activities, including picking up new abilities, forming wholesome habits, improving emotional intelligence, and more, might be included in this process.”

Over the past few years, for Self-Improvement Month, I posted a few fun facts, which I am updating here below:

– Organizations began promoting self-improvement in the 1980s, becoming a national event by 1988.

– The U.S. Spends $41.23 Billion/Year on Self-Improvement, up a lot from $10.4 Billion/Year last time I posted.

– The market includes:

• Books

• Audiobooks

• Infomercials

• Motivational speakers

• Public seminars

• Workshops

• Holistic institutes

• Personal coaching

• Weight loss programs

• Apps

• Internet courses

• Training organizations and more

…for topics, such as:

• Weight loss/exercise

• Business/sales skills

• Business opportunities/investing

• Improving relationships

• and general motivational

The global self-improvement market is estimated to reach $81.77 Billion/Year in 2032, compared with the $56.66 billion by 2027 posted last time.

What drives all this growth? Some say “…the growing awareness that a harmonious balance between mental, emotional, and physical aspects is a necessary component of true well-being….reflects a wider recognition that cultivating a resilient attitude and emotional balance are essential elements of attaining total well-being when confronted with the obstacles presented by contemporary living.”

Let me add another driver; that is, that growing is fun and feels good—the best antidote I know for feeling bad.

The tree wants to grow. The bird wants to fly. And so do humans. And when they don’t, they can get depressed.

So many clients have thought that their misery was the job, the spouse, the money or lack thereof, the whatever outside of themselves…when it turned out to be, simply put, that they were bored.

These clients, and so many people in general, cling to ‘same ole same ole’ habits of living that suck the excitement and enjoyment out of their lives.

It’s not that habits are bad, and we will get to what’s really good about them. It is more that old habits need to make way for the new to help us grow and feel alive.

And that is why making new habits is a great way to kick off September, Self-Improvement Month. So, what is a habit? And how can we make and sustain a new one?

The Self-Improvement Market in 2025

The self-improvement industry continues to grow rapidly:

• United States:

  • Estimated at $12.14B in 2024, projected to $22.08B by 2034.

  • Estimated at $12.57B in 2024, rising to $15.58B by 2030.

  • A broader definition values it at $16.5B in 2024, expected to reach $28.3B by 2033.

• Global:

  • Estimated at $48.4B in 2024, projected to $67.21B by 2030.

  • Estimated at $50.42B in 2024, growing to $86.54B by 2034.

  • A broader “products & services” measure puts it at $59.22B in 2024, rising to $64.61B in 2025.

📚 What’s Included in the Market

• Books

• Audiobooks

• Infomercials

• Motivational speakers

• Public seminars & workshops

• Holistic institutes

• Personal coaching

• Weight-loss programs

• Mobile apps

• Online courses

• Training organizations — and more

🌱 Popular Self-Improvement Topics

• Weight loss & exercise

• Business & sales skills

• Business opportunities & investing

• Improving relationships

• General motivation & mindset

What is a Habit?

From LiveScience:

“A habit is a behavior that has become automatic, according to a 2019 article published in the Oxford Research Encyclopedia. Habits can be formed and eliminated deliberately or unintentionally. We may not even be aware of some of these behaviors.”

Habits help us a lot. Consider the barrage of information we face every day, “equivalent to reading 500 pages of information or an entire encyclopedia every minute.”

Because it would be humanly impossible to process all of that information consciously, we have habits or automatic and easily repeatable actions and behaviors that we don’t have to waste any energy thinking about.

That’s great, but some of those habits were put there by the 5-year-old you used to be—no doubt cute and smart, and very much meaning well by you—but a 5-year-old nonetheless.

And, really, how much do we want a 5-year-old in charge of our lives?

At the very least, it may be time for a review of the major life-shaping habits of your life; like sleep, diet, exercise, work habits, and the like.

I know people who know their lives would be better if only they…but they don’t. Often, it is more like a 2-year-old just saying “NO, I can do whatever I want.” To assert themselves, they will even defy whatever it is they think is right.

Basically, any new behavior is going to have to be directed consciously and willfully by you. This means that if you wait until you ‘feel like it’, which a lot of people do, the day and the desired lifestyle change may never come.

So how can we create and maintain a new habit to improve ourselves and our lives?

How To Create and Maintain a New Habit for Self-Improvement

Bear in mind that this does not happen overnight. It can begin overnight but takes time to lock into your basal ganglia, where it takes on that easy automatic life of its own that you don’t even have to think about.

We have heard that it takes 21 days to make a habit. But this was speculation in the 1960s, not science, from cosmetic surgeon Maxwell Maltz, who believed that’s how long it took his patients to change the mental image of their new look.

More recent studies have found between 18 and 254 days to make a habit (an average of 66 days), depending on motives, resources, self-regulation, and environmental, social, and biological influences.

So, let’s say you want to establish a more consistent sleep routine. This is, by the way, an excellent idea. And, consistency with this and any new habit is key.

How long it will take is anyone’s guess, but you will know you are getting there when it takes less effort to do the new behavior and, in fact, you feel uncomfortable if you don’t.

Consistency is what plants it into your brain. Repetition is what builds the neural connections deeply in your brain that make it easy and automatic for you to upgrade in this way.

Other suggestions in addition to consistency and repetition include:

• Start small. Manageable and measurable. You can always increase over time.

• Pair with something related. What are you eating and drinking before you get into bed? Screentime? Anything in there you want to tweak at the same time?

• Is there a reward you want to pair with your new behavior? Something that delights you? Or with sleep, let’s say, is how good you feel with this new way of doing your sleep reward enough for you?

• What about a Buddy? Or some other form of accountability support system, like coaching, or e-learning—to help maintain whatever new habit(s) you want to invite into your life.

Above all, I would say know your WHY—your very own reason for wanting to take on the effort that this will be until it takes hold—because this is what will keep you from rebelling against and defeating yourself. 😉 For help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

With Love,
Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

What is the story I hate? Actually, I am not the one who hates the story. I love the story. But when I tried to share it with a friend, she stopped me and blurted, “I hate that story!”

The reason she hates that story is because it robs her of her point of view being the only one that is good and right.

So what is the story? It’s the one about the blind men and the elephant that I have posted on many times.

What Do You See?

The Blind Men and the Elephant is as follows with a version from textbook editor and author James Baldwin:

The Blind Men and the Elephant is a parable from India that has been adapted by many religions and published in various stories for adults and children. It is about a group of blind men who attempt to learn what an elephant is, each touching a different part, and disagreeing on their findings. Their collective wisdom leads to the truth.

There were once six blind men who stood by the road-side every day, and begged from the people who passed. They had often heard of elephants, but they had never seen one; for, being blind, how could they?

It so happened one morning that an elephant was driven down the road where they stood. When they were told that the great beast was before them, they asked the driver to let him stop so that they might see him. 

Of course they could not see him with their eyes; but they thought that by touching him they could learn just what kind of animal he was. 

The first one happened to put his hand on the elephant’s side. “Well, well!” he said, “now I know all about this beast. He is exactly like a wall.”

The second felt only of the elephant’s tusk. “My brother,” he said, “you are mistaken. He is not at all like a wall. He is round and smooth and sharp. He is more like a spear than anything else.”

The third happened to take hold of the elephant’s trunk. “Both of you are wrong,” he said. “Anybody who knows anything can see that this elephant is like a snake.”

The fourth reached out his arms, and grasped one of the elephant’s legs. “Oh, how blind you are!” he said. “It is very plain to me that he is round and tall like a tree.”

The fifth was a very tall man, and he chanced to take hold of the elephant’s ear. “The blindest man ought to know that this beast is not like any of the things that you name,” he said. “He is exactly like a huge fan.” 

The sixth was very blind indeed, and it was some time before he could find the elephant at all.

At last he seized the animal’s tail. “O foolish fellows!” he cried. “You surely have lost your senses. This elephant is not like a wall, or a spear, or a snake, or a tree; neither is he like a fan. But any man with a particle of sense can see that he is exactly like a rope.”

Then the elephant moved on, and the six blind men sat by the roadside all day, and quarreled about him. Each believed that he knew just how the animal looked; and each called the others hard names because they did not agree with him. People who have eyes sometimes act as foolishly. 

The truth is that thoughts are not facts. They are events of the mind, based on some mix of who we are when we come into the world and then all of what happens to us once we are here.

Nature and nurture as they say.  But all day long they argued, as so many of us do now, about how much more right than the other we are sure we are.  

The incessant arguing erodes trust when we may need to feel trust in one another at least as much now as ever before.

What is Trust?

Let’s consider this definition from the Cambridge Dictionary: “to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you, or that something is safe and reliable.”

Unfortunately, when humans differ in their viewpoints, there is a tendency to see the other as not good, honest, safe, and reliable; but rather bad, dishonest, dangerous, and unreliable instead.

One need only flip back and forth between right- and left-leaning news channels to know the truth of this statement. 

Evolutionary psychology suggests that humans evolved to favor their in-group while viewing outsiders with suspicion, a survival mechanism that once protected early tribes but now fuels political and social polarization.  

Negativity bias, which once ensured survival by prioritizing potential threats, also plays a role in making opposing viewpoints seem more dishonest or dangerous than they may be.  

Because these instincts were so essential in the past, they are hardwired in the brain and easily triggered—especially under stress—even if not as useful as they once were.  

Indeed, run amok, they are pulling us apart at a time when we need each other more than ever.

Therefore What? Ask Why?

I had a moment a couple of weeks ago, the kind of moment I had been trying so hard to avoid for so many months. Even though I had been practicing Austerity of Speech, which you can read about here, the news of that particular day was just too much to bear, and it all just came out on both sides of the exchange—an exchange that helped me to see something I want to share with you now.

That is, instead of accusing the other person of the badness, wrongness, dangerousness, and lack of caring we may attach to their opposing point of view, what if we asked them what they are seeing instead? 

What if we asked the other “Why?” with curiosity and a genuine interest in learning what makes other people tick differently than we tick ourselves? 

It’s also a question worth asking oneself. Sometimes we may not even know, as I did not myself.

Upon reflection, I discovered that we each shared a deeply felt commitment to social justice even if we processed and articulated in entirely different real world terms.

When we can recognize that our struggles and histories converge in the pursuit of social justice, we can see that our deeply rooted values connect us more than they divide us.

Even when our paths seem uniquely personal, the enduring call for justice and respect can remind us that we are part of a larger, unbreakable community striving for a better future.

In these turbulent times, some are more ready, willing, and able than others to grant goodness to those who see the world differently than they themselves. For those who are, it is this triumph of trust—trust in one another, in our shared values, however deeply buried, and in the promise of tomorrow—that can carry us through today.

Love,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

What is What’s Your Story?

What’s Your Story?: Building Your Best Adventures in School and Life is an interactive workbook that teaches kids about how their brains and minds work so they can empower and enjoy their lives. It is the debut installment in Brainy’s Mind Over Matters Series, geared to children ages eight to twelve, and their families and educators.

In What’s Your Story?, readers meet Brainy, a smart and friendly guide who teaches kids that thinking is like having conversations with your brain—about what is happening in the world, what we hope will happen, what the challenges may be, and how we will try to make our lives as amazing as we can. Sometimes thinking makes things better. Sometimes thinking makes things hard.

The more we know about the brain, the more we can work together with it to fill our lives with great adventures that are more interesting and fun—in school and life. Through writing prompts and thinking exercises, the book invites young explorers to understand their inner and outer worlds, empowering them to build a life of their own dreams, discoveries, and joys.

If you haven’t already grabbed your copy or would like to pick up another one for someone you love, CLICK HERE, and contact me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com if you would like me to send you a parent or teacher supplemental guide.

Warmly,

Madelaine

Why Should You Make a New Habit?

Here’s why: September is Self-Improvement Month, and making new habits is a great way to improve yourself and your life. Maybe you thought you had ‘til January 1st to upgrade yourself and your life. But the National Calendar says the time is now.

After all, for many people, resolutions they made in January have failed by now anyway, by February actually. So now would be a good time to try again.

I always want to learn and grow this time of year. People suggest vacation ideas for this time of year, the shoulder season in many terrific places, with rates lower and crowds thinner.

But not for me. For me, it’s ‘back to school’ season, with the days of repentance and renewal coming up too. So, I for one have had enough vacation, gorgeous as it was. Right now, I just want to learn and grow—and improve.

What is Self-Improvement?

Zion Market Research defines self-improvement as:

The process of improving one’s knowledge, abilities, character, and general well-being is referred to as self-improvement. It entails making conscious efforts to grow in all spheres of one’s life—emotional, intellectual, physical, and social. Numerous activities, including picking up new abilities, forming wholesome habits, improving emotional intelligence, and more, might be included in this process.

Over the past few years, for self-improvement month, I posted a few fun facts, which I am updating here below:

– Organizations began promoting self-improvement in the 1980s, becoming a national event by 1988.

– The U.S. Spends $41.23 Billion/Year on Self-Improvement, up a lot from $10.4 Billion/Year last time I posted.

– The market includes:

• • Books
  • Audio books
  • Infomercials
  • Motivational speakers
  • Public seminars
  • Workshops
  • Holistic institutes
  • Personal Coaching
  • Weight loss programs
  • Apps
  • Internet courses
  • Training organizations and more

…for topics, such as:

• • Weight loss/exercise
  • Business/sales skills
  • Business opportunities/investing
  • Improving relationships
  • and general motivational

The global self-improvement market is estimated to reach $81.77 Billion/Year in 2032, compared with the $56.66 billion by 2027 posted last time.

What drives all this growth? Some say “…the growing awareness that a harmonious balance between mental, emotional, and physical aspects is a necessary component of true well-being….reflects a wider recognition that cultivating a resilient attitude and emotional balance are essential elements of attaining total well-being when confronted with the obstacles presented by contemporary living.”

Let me add another driver; that is, that growing is fun and feels good—the best antidote I know for feeling bad.

The tree wants to grow. The bird wants to fly. And so do humans. And when they don’t, they can get depressed.

So many clients have thought that their misery was the job, the spouse, the money or lack thereof, the whatever outside of themselves…when it turned out to be, simply put, that they were bored.

These clients, and so many people in general, cling to ‘same ole same ole’ habits of living that suck the excitement and enjoyment out of their lives.

It’s not that habits are bad, and we will get to what’s really good about them. It is more that old habits need to make way for the new to help us grow and feel alive.  

And that is why making new habits is a great way to kick off September, Self-Improvement Month. So, what is a habit? And how can we make and sustain a new one? 

What is a Habit?

From LiveScience:

A habit is a behavior that has become automatic, according to a 2019 article published in the Oxford Research Encyclopedia. Habits can be formed and eliminated deliberately or unintentionally. We may not even be aware of some of these behaviors. 

Habits help us a lot. Consider the barrage of information we face every day, “equivalent to reading 500 pages of information or an entire encyclopedia every minute.”

Because it would be humanly impossible to process all of that information consciously, we have habits or automatic and easily repeatable actions and behaviors that we don’t have to waste any energy thinking about.

That’s great, but some of those habits were put there by the 5-year-old you used to be—no doubt cute and smart, and very much meaning well by you—but a 5-year-old nonetheless.

And, really, how much do we want a 5-year-old in charge of our lives?

At the very least, it may be time for a review of the major life-shaping habits of your life; like sleep, diet, exercise, work habits, and the like.

I know people who know their lives would be better if only they…but they don’t. Often, it is more like a 2-year-old just saying “NO, I can do whatever I want,” and to assert themselves, they defy whatever it is they think is right. 

Basically, any new behavior is going to have to be directed consciously and willfully by you. This means that if you wait until you ‘feel like it’, which a lot of people do, the day and the desired lifestyle change may never, ever come. 

So how can we create and maintain a new habit to improve ourselves and our lives?

How To Create and Maintain a New Habit for Self-Improvement

Bear in mind that this does not happen overnight. It can begin overnight but takes time to lock into your basal ganglia, where it takes on that easy automatic life of its own that you don’t even have to think about.

We have heard that it takes 21 days to make a habit. But this was speculation in the 1960s, not science, from a cosmetic surgeon, Maxwell Maltz, who believed that’s how long it took his patients to change the mental image of their new look. 

More recent studies have found between 18 and 254 days to make a habit (an average of 66 days), depending on motives, resources, self-regulation, and environmental, social, and biological influences.

So, let’s say you want to establish a more consistent sleep routine. This is, by the way, an excellent idea. And, consistency with this and any new habit is key. 

How long it will take is anyone’s guess, but you will know you are getting there when it takes less effort to do the new behavior, and in fact, you feel uncomfortable if you don’t.

Consistency is what plants it into your brain. Repetition is what builds the neural connections deeply in your brain that make it easy and automatic for you to upgrade in this way.

Other suggestions in addition to consistency and repetition include:

• Start small. Manageable and measurable. You can always increase over time.
• Pair with something related. What are you eating and drinking before you get into bed? Screentime? Anything in there you want to tweak at the same time?
• Is there a reward you want to pair with your new behavior? Something that delights you? Or with sleep, let’s say, is how good you feel with this new way of doing your sleep reward enough for you?
• What about a Buddy? Or some other form of accountability support system, like coaching, or e-learning—to help maintain whatever new habit(s) you want to invite into your life.\ 

Above all, I would say know your WHY—your very own reason for wanting to take on the effort that this will be until it takes hold—because this is what will keep you from rebelling against and defeating yourself. 😉 

With Love,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

What is a Dream?

Is anyone else having a lot of dreams lately? I am, mostly about trying to help people who are not even in my life anymore. It is easy to see why, in these times, I might be wishing I could help people I cannot reach, but how are dreams about it supposed to help? And, if they are supposed to help, how can I help my dreams to help me more?

People ask these questions about play too. Like dreams, play is something we do separate from the more important things we do in life, as if dreaming and playing are pastimes that don’t really have any useful purpose in and of themselves. But that’s not right.

From an earlier post: “In fact, Harvard researchers have found that play not only relieves stress but improves brain function, stimulates the mind, boosts creativity, improves relationships, builds energy and resistance to disease.”

In the words of performance coach, Joe Robinson, on play:

“It’s the brain’s reset button. This tonic we write off as trivial is a crucial engine of well-being. In its low-key, humble way, play yanks grownups out of their purposeful sleepwalk to reveal the animating spirit within. You are alive, and play will prove it to you.”

Yes, that’s right, we sleepwalk. With the mind wandering all over the place 70% of the time, what else would we call it? Sleepwalking. Which brings us to dreaming. Dreaming is:

• Hallucinatory experience common to all human beings. It occurs most often during the paradoxical phase of sleep, known as the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) phase.
• Mental imagery or activity that occur when you sleep.

Dreams are a kind of fiction or make-pretend, like play:

Play may be a means by which individuals: practice skills that are essential to their survival and reproduction; learn to cope physically and emotionally with unexpected, potentially harmful events; generate new, sometimes useful creations; and reduce hostility and enable cooperation.

There is research to suggest that dreams are another great way for our brains to do more of the same, so let’s move on to that.

Why Do We Dream?

The threat simulation hypothesis of the function of dreaming holds that:

In the ancestral environment human life was short and full of threats. Any behavioral advantage in dealing with highly dangerous events would have increased the probability of reproductive success. A dream-production mechanism that tends to select threatening waking events and simulate them over and over again in various combinations would have been valuable for the development and maintenance of threat-avoidance skills.

Tufts researcher, Erik Hoel, mentions other theories on how dreams help us with memory, emotional regulation, and problem-solving—and adds one of his own. Hoel’s idea is that, since reptiles do not dream while mammals do, dreaming has something to do with a higher-level learning to survive.  

His idea is that our dreams can help knock us out of what he calls “overfit” thinking, the routinized, locked in manner of meeting life challenges and tasks that is not particularly open to adaptive upgrades.  

So, it’s good, then? Even if it is unpleasant, maybe especially if it is unpleasant, it is good when we dream? And is there something we are supposed to do with our dreams? I took a look at that. 

How Can We Use Dreams?

I did something with mine that I want to tell you about. Before I get to that, I assume most if not all have heard about dream interpretation.

For this, here is a great article from the Sleep Foundation on what Freud and others have had to say, in case you are interested in that sort of thing. The article also offers guidance on 4 specific dream themes: Teeth Falling Out, Sex and Cheating, Natural Disaster, and Falling.

Other researchers are exploring something called Lucid Dreams, during which time the sleeper is actually aware of the dream, and can even exert control over the environment right there in the dream.

WebMD posted on the benefits of lucid dreaming, including reduced anxiety and improved motor skills, problem-solving, and creativity. But the same post mentioned that there are potential downsides as well, including sleep interruption, and confusion that can be serious enough to affect mental health. 

So, I think I am going to pass, and recommend here that you do too, unless you work with a professional to help make sure there will not be more harm than good done.

Now, here is what I did with my own dream about trying to help where I cannot. Just for fun, I watch Instagram reels. There was one with a nice man who invited the viewer to do a visualization exercise with him, which typically I scroll past because I prefer the reels that make me laugh. Only this time I went with him.

His prompt involved a little bit of breathwork and then visualization of walking through a door, with a trusted other on the other side. I presented my dream theme to the trusted other, who said, “You take care of you; others will figure that out.” The weight of the world shifted off of my shoulders to where it belonged.

So, if you are noticing your own dream activity, this is something you can also try, then Practice, practice, practice…and let us know what you find. For help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com 

Love,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik

What is the #1 Cause of Death? 

Heart disease is the #1 cause of death in America, but then maybe you already knew that. Axios posted the graphic below, also reporting increases in both heart disease and cancer from 2021 to 2022, and an alarming quadrupling of fentanyl-overdose deaths subsumed under “Unintentional injury.”

This particular Axios piece did not unpack ‘Why so much heart disease?’ but I found one that did—and this article put a lot of the blame on the workplace.

Blaming the Workplace

Why not blame the workplace? These days it seems people blame much of what ails them on the workplace, or their boss, or leadership, or co-workers, or you name it, about work.

A new study, published in Circulation: Cardiovascular Quality and Outcomes, highlights two work-related stressors that may increase heart disease risk: Job strain and effort-reward imbalance. Here is how they define the terms:

“Job strain refers to work environments where employees face a combination of high job demands and low control over their work. High demands can include a heavy workload, tight deadlines and numerous responsibilities, while low control means the employee has little say in decision-making and how they perform their tasks,” Lavigne-Robichaud explained.

“Effort-reward imbalance occurs when employees invest high effort into their work, but they perceive the rewards they receive in return — such as salary, recognition or job security — as insufficient or unequal to the effort. For instance, if you’re always going above and beyond, but you feel like you’re not getting the credit or rewards you deserve, that’s called effort-reward imbalance.”

Notice the word “perceive” and the words “if you’re always going above and beyond, but you feel like you’re not getting the credit or rewards you deserve.”

Look, I am not saying that employers, and employees too for that matter, should not treat each other with care and respect. But that only goes so far when individuals continue to mistreat themselves. The Inner Critic (TIC) may mean well, let’s say to keep you motivated, to keep you on track, but can unfortunately wind up messing up everything.

Taming the Real Tyrant

People may not even know they are mistreating themselves, but who else is doing the ‘perceiving’ that is causing the stress that may be causing the disease? Who else is deciding to go above and beyond, for reasons they might not even know, and reasons they may think make no sense once they did know.

Does anybody remember Pogo?  Pogo is a character in Walt Kelly’s political satire comic strip. To make the point on how we may create our own problems, then blame them on not-us, a popularized version of what Pogo said has become, We have met the enemy and he is us. 

Three people all on the same day, back-to-back this week, did it. That is, all three of them attributed the angst they felt about work to something other than what was going on in their own heads. And yet, in all three cases it turned out that no one was doing much of anything wrong, except to have ‘perceived’ that someone was.

The truth is that all three of them are amazing, so amazing that they’ve all made it into work environments filled with other amazing people just like themselves (some even more seasoned). And they are feeling the adjustment to their new place in the scheme of things.

Now they understand that they need to keep an eye on how they are coping with what is going on inside to make sure they are serving themselves and others as well as they can.

In the How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky shares her research suggesting that the circumstances we think are to blame for everything only account for 10% of our happiness.

Lyubomirsky tells us that 50% of our happiness is just the way we came into the world, genetics. And, a whopping 40% are the steps that we can take ourselves to make our lives great. Intentional activity. How we think and feel, and then what we do or don’t do, is a big part of that. 

Practice, practice, practice…see what happens, and let us know. For help with this or something else, Contact Me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com

Warmly,

Madelaine

Photo by Freepik