Comments on: HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING SELFISH

By: Madelaine Weiss

Madelaine Weiss — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 23:50:39 +0000

In reply to Steven Nisenbaum. Actually, glad you brought up Sartre. I did a little digging once and found an interpretation suggesting that other people are hell, not because of what's wrong with them, but rather because what we can see through their eyes is wrong with us. I put this in my book. The other quote that you will know and like is, Kahneman's, "We all care intensely for the narrative of our own life and very much want it to be a good story, with a decent hero. Becker like, isn't it Dr, N.

By: Steven Nisenbaum

Steven Nisenbaum — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 23:41:05 +0000

Existentialists posited human consciousness defined as pure being-for-itself set against all else that is being-in-itself. In this philosophical tradition argument, being-for-others is seen as a burden of being-for-itself. Although trying to achieve distance from limitations and ambiguities flowing from the subject-object dichotomy, ironically what emerges is arguably a still ruggedly individualistic and “self-centered” stance. This was famously captured by Jean-Paul Sartre in his book Nausea with the disclosure (assertion? revelation? conclusion?) that “Hell is other people.” I am touched by the observation of your admiring companion on the Camino de Santiago when he commented, “I like how you take care of yourself, and the other person, too.” Reconciliation need not be impossible, and complementary is perhaps a choice.

By: Madelaine Weiss

Madelaine Weiss — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 23:31:06 +0000

In reply to Karen Gross. Ah yes, good point, how right you are, it is a circle. Everything connected to everything else. Other point: there was a study on pets and their owners. Oxytocin levels found to be impacted by dogs and owners gazing into each other's eyes. Not kidding. Mentioned to a friend once who she said that dogs don't make eye contact. Mine does!

By: Karen Gross

Karen Gross — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 23:19:32 +0000

I think we need to both recognize and act on this idea: self care is not selfish. We mistake one for the other. In the absence of self care, we can’t care for others. Another point: the Pandemic has frozen us in a sense; we are disconnected and lacking touch. One cure: get our empathy engines going. That’s because caring for others is beneficial to helping oneself. Ah— a circle!