All day long now we are making decisions about things we barely had to think about before.
How will we get to work when the office opens?
When is it okay to visit with family members?
How often to go to the grocery store?
Whether and when to wear your mask?
What should I do instead of shaking hands?
Who will take care of the children?
Should I buy workout equipment or wait for gym to open?
How much take-out is too much take-out?
How much binge watching is too much binge watching?
How much Zoom is too much Zoom?
How much wine is too much wine?
Decisions, decisions, decisions… And once we decide then we have to implement. By then, though, we may have depleted so much energy deciding that it would take herculean self-control to see things through.
Here’s What We Need to Know about Self-Control.
It’s not like some have it and some don’t. Self-control has been around for at least 500,000 years, when we began to concentrate and tolerate frustration enough to perform tasks that do not have immediate rewards. Example: building sophisticated tools, such as flint axes, which required great skill, and took a really long time.
We all have the capacity. But like a battery, some studies suggest that self-control can run out of juice, so it needs to be spent wisely and well.
The Take Away
- Just because we have a question doesn’t always mean we have to decide and do. Some things can wait, or don’t really matter enough to waste energy on. Then you will have the self-control energy required to follow through on the things that do count.
- Some of the decisions we make now are for the good of others more than for ourselves. For those who are feeling ‘why should I have to’, maybe you just didn’t know that resisting for the sake of resisting takes energy you could be using for better things for yourself. But now you do.
- Most of all, we want to use our inherent self-control—from the bigger, higher brain that began developing in earnest over 500,000 years ago—to guide our actions through these and future times.
To activate the higher brain, if you haven’t already, go to https://madelaineweiss.com and click on “Power Breathing.” This will help you put the higher brain in charge, to use your self-control well.
Practice, practice, practice…see what happens, and let me know. Stay Safe.
Great piece re: self-control, something I imagine many people face. Thanks for sending this insightful info.
Thank you for writing in, Amy. Glad you found it useful!
I agree, I appreciated being reminded that YES, I do I have self control, I just need to use it smartly.
Yes indeed, and sometimes using it smartly means not using it at all, to save it for when things really matter. Glad you wrote. Thank you!!
Great piece! Definitely something to think about during these trying times.
Thx Jill. I think a lot of people think of self-control as something some have more than others, more than a resource we all spend, and need to spend well. And agree, good thing to know now.
I especially liked the way you put this: “Some things can wait, or don’t really matter enough to waste energy on. Then you will have the self-control energy required to follow through on the things that do count.”
Prioritizing also includes discarding instead of being weighted down needlessly by the issues you are simply avoiding for reasons that don’t make that much sense to fret about.
Indeed!