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The Times

…troubled for sure. But then there was a break in the clouds. I am pretty sure I saw the national guard and protestors doing the Makarena together the other night. The other thing I know is that some people are actually happier now than before Covid. Examples: One successful businessman used the Covid Pause to figure out how to operationalize his life-long dream to develop economically disadvantaged communities. A woman, bored to death at work before Covid, is now filled with hope and a series of interviews for the job of her dreams. Another dared to go for a big promotion during Covid and got it. And another finally took the plunge and got 2 new job offers, with promotions in much better industry alignment for him.

Oh, and an engaged woman reluctant to marry, huddled up with the man she loves, realized how much she cherishes her good fortune with him. They will marry next month in a courthouse, with a big celebration to follow at a later, better time. Another couple just bought a new house to pack full of family and friends when the clouds pass. And, some parents are finding that their children are stronger, happier, better behaved, and better focused, now that things have slowed down.

Meanwhile, over 110,000 have died of Covid, over 40 million became unemployed and, again, there was the violent death of George Floyd that rocked the nation and the world. Not the best of times. Possibly the worst in our lifetimes, if not in all of modern history. And yet there is hope.

So there is a kind of cognitive dissonance. How is it okay to be happy while so many suffer? Maybe we should hide it, just keep it to ourselves. Not so fast. One study found that people who hid their positive emotions actually wound up with higher levels of depression and lower levels of well-being as time went by. That makes sense. Therefore what?

Coming Out

Little by little some people are beginning to admit that they are happy, but timidly at best. It just doesn’t seem right to be happy right now. And yet it is—because when we come out with our positive emotions, we are healthier and, when we are healthier, we are generally happier and, when we are happier, we are generally kinder to others and to ourselves. It’s a good thing that, done with sensitivity, can lift the spirits, the health, and well-being of all around.

One client wondered aloud if this whole thing was some kind of cosmic lesson to help us value what matters in a way that brings us joy and peace that we can share. This does not mean that we do not also feel and share in sadness where and when we find that too.

As a philosophy tutor of mine once put it, “You know, Madelaine, it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time.” A simple truth that I have lived in full for decades now. For one reason or another, happy and sad at the same time. Especially now.

So when you notice that happiness comes your way, why not pause to catch it, to let it soak in, and to pass it on with good care. 

Practice, practice, practice…see what happens, and let us know in comments below. 

Warm wishes, stay safe, and help yourself to free exercises in “Complimentary…” box at madelaineweiss.com

Madelaine