About Dopamine
Boredom is a state of suffering that is rampant right now. If there is not a lot going on, your dopamine can be low and, if your dopamine is low, you are bored.
Unfortunately, not enough people know that boredom is about chemicals in the brain. So they look outside of themselves for someone or something to blame for the blahs: the husband, the wife, the job…as in, I’m bored with my car, time for a new one.
The decision alone, with the expectation of reward, can give a dopamine rush that feels mighty good. Not for long, though, because once the newness wears off, the thrill wears off, and the brain is back to meh. And what did that little fix cost? Sometimes a lot.
Truth is that, if nothing in you has changed, there is a good chance you will wind up in a new place that feels to you just like the old. This is why it is a very good idea to have some relatively safe ways to hack your brain chemicals, so you don’t risk messing up your whole life.
Hacking Your Chemistry
Click here for an article with 217 ‘good habit’ ideas to knock out your boredom; including adult coloring books, learning to play a musical instrument, watching cat videos… Really, 217 of them.
On the other hand, people I am coaching are juicing themselves up with visions of a future that is more exciting and fulfilling than their real lives were before the Great 2020 Pause. They are cherry picking what they love about their dreams, and taking real steps to bring whatever that is into real life.
One applied to a coveted MBA program that starts in the fall. She’s pretty sure she will get in, and the thought of learning so much new has her beaming all over. Another already enrolled in a program that will certify him as business and community development coach, to fulfill his long-held dream of giving back in this way.
Others have applied for new jobs. And gotten offers too. But, before they pack their bags, they are taking a good hard look at how much of what they value, how much of who they are, how much of what they want—really does exist in the new opportunity, and how much can be negotiated into right where they are. Then they will have an eyes wide open, real comparison to make among alternatives, in selecting the environment that suits them best.
Wake-Up Call
I guess we could say that boredom is a wake-up call that invites all kinds of possibility for the enrichment of our lives. We just need to be careful not to let the pain of boredom make us squander the opportunity on a too easy and unsustainable fix.
Warm wishes,
Madelaine
“What, me Bored?” Reminds me of the old Mad Magazine (R.I.P.) covers of gap-toothed Alfred E. Neuman and his smirking “What, me worry?” mischievous smile. And I guess my biggest puzzle (“Worry”??) is whether when left to my own devices and little guiding sense of direction or external demands, I seem invariably to gravitate in the direction of things to do that are just “pipe dream” fantasies more than something I can count on myself to actually apply my capabilities and DO! In my head, I’m Steven Jobs and Bill Gates. I always imagine that of course I’ll write the Great American novel and undoubtedly would already have done so if I weren’t distracted and consumed with my everyday minutiae. But so far I notice I haven’t written even one page since COVID-19 sprung up, and I haven’t even used my new-found “spare” time even to clean the garage like I’ve been planning for so long. Now I “worry” (apologies to Alfred E.) that I’m obviously just not up to the task, and NEVER WAS.
You don’t sound bored at all!
I have to say that boredom isn’t in my wheelhouse. But I wonder if some people are struggling not with boredom but with pandemic paralysis — which is surely not the same as boredom. It is a symptom of stress and fear and anxiety, perhaps the result of social distancing and work at home and lack of touch…. People are stuck and can’t get unstuck. And perhaps the time for reflection opens a window to new opportunities or coming to terms with joblessness or illness or racial tension — items that themselves generate fear.
Exactly right, Karen. Too much too fast can boomerang. That’s why my clients are mindful to create action steps forward that are big enough to excite and motivate, but not so big as to overwhelm and cause a shut down. Keeping a meticulous eye on titering seems to work wonders. I understand that some are more resilient than others. Still, I am in awe of the extraordinary leaps and bounds the people I work with are making. Thank you as always for your thoughtful comments. And congratulations on your new book: “Trauma Doesn’t Stop At The School Door.”