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A Simple Act That Stopped Me Cold
Last week, I joined a group effort to pack medical supplies for people in urgent need. It was a simple operation—assembling kits, labeling boxes, lining things up so they could be delivered as efficiently as possible. The room was full of people as still and focused as I was. Since our leaders emphasized the importance of the exactness of the count and precision in packing, this stillness did not surprise me. But what did surprise me was how often I caught myself staring at my hands.
They were just doing what hands do: lifting, folding, placing. But there was something about watching them move—something I couldn’t stop thinking about. It wasn’t just that they were busy. It was that they were being of use.
The Evolutionary Power of Our Hands
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, there’s a lot to make of that.
Our hands are among the most uniquely human parts of us. They’re not just tools; they’re extensions of our will, our emotion, and even our spirit. Evolution gave us opposable thumbs and fine motor control so we could manipulate the world around us—not only to survive, but to create. We use our hands to build shelters, paint murals, cook meals, cradle newborns, and comfort the grieving. In many ways, our hands are how we make our humanity visible.
Wired to Serve, Built to Belong
When we use our hands for service, especially in response to crisis or need, something inside us seems to settle into place. It feels right. It feels true. That’s not accidental; it’s deeply biological.
Evolution favored cooperation and care because those traits helped early humans survive. We are wired to help our group, especially to protect those we see as ours. And when we do that—even in small ways—our brains reward us with a sense of connection, belonging, and meaning.
The Emotional Pulse of Helping
That’s what I felt, packing those supplies.
I felt the heart part, too. The emotional pull. The sense of urgency, tenderness, and connection. These weren’t just boxes—they were lifelines. And while I may not have known the faces of the people receiving them, I could feel a sense of universal humanity. It was as if, through the simple use of my hands, I was reaching across time and distance to say: I see you. I care.
Often, when I’d finish a task and wasn’t sure what to do next—because of language differences—I’d simply stand there with my palms up and open. That simple gesture somehow said everything: I’m here, I’m ready, I’m with you. No words were needed.
There’s something primal about that feeling. Evolutionary psychologists call it “prosocial behavior”—acts of kindness and support that strengthen the bonds between people. And when those acts happen under pressure, they can even become sacred.
How the Brain Finds Meaning in Motion
But perhaps the most fascinating part is what the brain does with all of this.
Our minds are meaning-making machines. They’re constantly watching, interpreting, and building narratives. As I watched my hands move, I realized that something deeper was happening. My brain was writing a story—not just about what I was doing, but about who I was: This is who you are. This is what you’re meant for. This is how you help.
The Sweet Spot: Head, Heart, and Hands Aligned
When action, emotion, and meaning come into alignment like that, we experience what some psychologists call “existential coherence”—a deep inner sense that life makes sense, even just for a moment. And those moments, while often fleeting, can shift something fundamental in us.
We live in a time when it’s easy to feel disconnected. There’s so much noise, distraction, and division. But when we stop, even briefly, to offer our hands—to serve, to comfort, to build—we reconnect not only with others, but with ourselves. Just as I felt when I once, a long time ago, helped build a child’s bedroom via Habitat for Humanity, and just as I feel very Friday morning when I make sandwiches for the hungry, we remember that we are part of something bigger. That our small acts matter. That we matter and so do they.
What We Hold Is Who We Are
In that simple moment—hands moving, heart open, mind still—I touched something ancient, and something profoundly personal: the timeless human need to be of use.
There is more on the power of our hands in my book Getting to G.R.E.A.T.—on how our hands reflect not just what we do, but who we are becoming. Writing this reminded me again: when we engage our hands in service, aligned with our hearts and minds, we come closer to the life we’re meant to live.
Thank you for reading and being part of this journey with me. To discuss this or something else, in the context of your own life, please do not hesitate to contact me at weissmadelaine@gmail.com
Love,
Madelaine
Photo by Freepik
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