How about this instead of resolutions this year? Let’s pretend we are cleaning out our drawers. Some stuff is part of everyday life, and we can’t imagine life without it. Other stuff just sits there and is of no good use at all. Maybe it’s even annoying. I have a book that bugs me, and it’s going down the library donation shoot next time I walk Rafael Leonardo, my little dog.
We can’t exactly put people we may have outgrown down the shoot, but we can reframe how we do or don’t engage them in our day to day lives. And then there are people, places, and things that are not particularly active and present in our lives, but we will still keep them with us, in one way or another, because we want to and we can.
Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions
So this is my idea of an alternative to New Year’s Resolutions, simply because most resolutions fail anyway and I happen to know firsthand how useful, even fun, this other approach can be. I should add that, sometimes it is sad too, even profoundly sad, to let go of the old to make way for the new.
Over the last few years, a lot has changed in my life. Not all of it Covid related, although I do think the virus actually concentrated and accelerated the Stop, Start, Continue…People, Places, Things already in play in my life.
Stop, Start, Continue…People, Places, and Things
Stop, Start, Continue… is an ordinary team building exercise that can have extraordinary results, not only for teams, but for families and personal/professional growth too.
And it doesn’t have to be a once a year or once a quarter kind of thing. How about renewing and refreshing in an ongoing way. The brain gets all jazzed up by novelty, so every day can be a lighter footed adventure living it this way. What will I stop, start, continue on this day?
We often ask ourselves what we are going to do today, but maybe not as often do we ask what we are going to let go of or tuck away. Hope you will try this way of thinking about yourself, your life, and the people, places, and things in it, and let us know what you find.
Happy New Year and Warmest Wishes for 2021,
Madelaine
I always make resolutions and then break them
So it’s best for me to think about little things and try to get them accomplished rather than expect to get a resolution accomplished
Yes, Mary, you and a lot of people making and breaking, and then making same ones all over again. So, great idea to keep it small enough to actually accomplish, to see and feel good about that. If you happen to try, Stop, Start, Continue…let us know what you find!
Is this the same premise as Alcoholics Anonymous and 12 Step Program “One Day At A Time” approach, but segmented differently or not so concretely? It is sort of a magic trick illusion to play on yourself for goal-setting. I knew a woman (“Helen” was her name) years ago who was a devoted Weight Watchers disciple and she sometimes did have success, but also was a roller-coaster. She told me that the secret of her intervals of success was to pair a desired food impulkse with some image she founmd revulsive — such as seeing ice cream but with imaginary ants crawling over it. I guess for some periods of time for certain goals it worked enough so that she could report some good news at the next meeting of Weight Watchers. She also was trying to manage diabetes, so that was an additional incentivixer or penalty for self-reinforcement contingencies. Maybe mindfulness cleansing your mind through daily meditations is similar? In fact, isn’t this what Seneca advised in his Letter to Lucilius #59, and what The Buddha taught and that Zen Masters tried to routinize as exercises? The basis of CBT therapies?
Steven, let’s keep it simple, with this new question that I like, “What would the mind be doing if it was not doing this?” It doesn’t even require an answer, as the question alone is enough of a jolt into an awareness that having to devise such schemes as Helen’s may not be the best use of our time, and energy, and our lives. I recently started using this myself, and find it really fun and useful.
Happy New Years Madelain! Loved this advice, I just deleted my yearly resolutions letter to my self, because like Mary, by February, I can’t even remember what I wrote! going with this approach instead, and keeping it simple, one thing a time.
May this new year be of P E A C E and health! Thank you!
Hey Ana! good for you. You’re free of the insanity of resolutions not kept year after year, not just you, 92% of us! Let us know how this other way works. And love and warm wishes to you and yours for 2021 and beyond…