World Gone Mad?

Resilience? Easier said than done? Just when we began to think we were going to finally come out of the darkness of the pandemic into some sun—then came the War on Ukraine.

Meanwhile, 32% of Americans are struggling to figure out things like what to wear.

Pandemic, threat of nuclear war, hungry babies with no formula, rising crime, mass shootings, inflation, gas prices, emptying grocery shelves, stock market plunging, ever deepening moral and political polarization…all against a backdrop of climate change:

More frequent and intense drought, storms, heat waves, rising sea levels, melting glaciers and warming oceans can directly harm animals, destroy the places they live, and wreak havoc on people’s livelihoods and communities. 

And then there are all the people who have to return to the office for a job they don’t like. And home buyers who can’t possibly afford anything right now, if ever.

Some people, for whatever reason, have it easier than some others—good health, food on the table, and such.  

But they may not be feeling so happy-go-lucky either; guilt makes that hard. So they tell me, and I feel it myself.

Plus, for them, too, the existential threats loom large, even if not consciously so, and no matter how well off they may be otherwise.

How This Affects Us

Last week I posted on Vicarious Trauma related to the War in Ukraine; from Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., in Forbes: 

Vicarious trauma or vicarious terror is a condition resulting from the bombardment of the central nervous system transmitted through observation, instead of direct personal contact, in this case from the media. People who observe violent acts often show the same symptoms of individuals who are direct targets of terror. The massive shock to the nervous system can create a sense of disintegration and fragmentation, coupled with intense emotions such as crying, shallow breathing or lashing out. Other aftereffects are often difficulty sleeping, heightened anxiety, sensitivity to loud noises or dissociation—an emotional and physical numbing state in which you feel separated, isolated or disconnected from yourself and others.

The energy it takes to regulate so much intense emotion adversely affects the efficiency and effectiveness of our decision making.

Just the other night, I attended a meeting where people were trying to decide whether and how to use a sign-up sheet for pizza for an event, and then, if so, where to put the sign-up sheet, and then at which point in time, before or during which segment of the event, to put the sign-up sheet out, with respect to regulating somehow who actually is eligible for the pizza.

As more than an aside, we had done the pizza thing before and it went fine, just the way it was. In fact, I mentioned that, like why reinvent the wheel, but still the discussion went on, and on, and on. 

This happened. About pizza. Among adults. At which point I leaned over to the woman next to me and said, “It appears we may be on the verge of WWIII, and we are talking about what?” To which she responded, “Whatever it takes.”

I believe she is right about that, whatever it takes. And that what it takes is resilience.  

Because, by the time we got to the more substantive items on the agenda, behavior unbecoming of mature adults was building, including and especially for me my own—behavior that I had not seen before from any of us in this particular group as a group.

In the end, the outcome was good, but it took me a day to bounce back. And that’s what resilience is about. Bouncing back, the sooner and more effectively the better.

Resilience in Troubled Times

Science says we have an information speed limit of about 120 bits of information/second, and that, since it takes 60 bits/second to pay attention to one person, we can’t really handle more than 2 people at a time. 

But here we are collectively stressed by the state of our world, having more meetings than ever, it seems, with way more people than 2. 

For all of this, we need what it takes, and what it takes is resilience.

Dr. Judith Rodin writes about resilience—the ability to more quickly and effectively bounce back, an urgent social and economic issue.  

There are plenty of tips online for how we, as individuals and organizations, can become more resilient.

Dr. Rodin specifies: Awareness, Diversity, Integration, Self-regulation, Adaptability. You can read more about these here. 

Or you can look at “5 Ways to Bounce Back…” here or “10 Ways…” here. 

Patel’s “8 Ways Successful People Master Resilience” in Entrepreneur includes 2 ways that I want to highlight here: #1 Build a Circle of Trust, and #8 Find Everyday Joys.

In way #1, Patel points out that having caring relationships is a primary factor in resilience.

And, after our let’s say…high intensity meeting, it really was deeply touching to observe how many people were reaching out to each other just to make sure everyone was okay.

For Patel’s way #8 on Everyday Joys…this week I gave a talk with a Q/A at the end. The host told us that a Ukrainian mom in Poland with her kids, while the husband was fighting in Ukraine, posted in the chat room that she had a comment, not a question, for us all:

Enjoy Life.

So beautiful. So simple. So important. So yes, when the going gets rough in the moment at work, or home, or wherever we may roam: let’s take a deep breath and, when we can get back up, forgive each other, support each other, and in whatever ways we can, big and small—Enjoy Life. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as pizza, and if we can keep that simple even better.

What is it for you? What simple things can you add or subtract each day, for yourself and maybe others too, to help you Enjoy Life in these troubled times?

Warmly,

Madelaine

Photo by Pexels Singkham