Some people are not letting in what would make them happy right now. It may not feel right to be happy right now, when so many are suffering. If this applies, please know that your happiness is not about you, well not just about you anyway. The truth is that whatever emotional valence you bring to the world impacts the world, and there is responsibility in that.
Emotional Contagion
Think about it. Close your eyes and imagine walking into a room where everyone is agitated and agitating. Now imagine walking into a room where everyone is supporting and enjoying each other and themselves. Everyone is connected to everyone else. So it makes a difference what we each bring to the room because emotional contagion is real.
Here is a good article on how emotional contagion transmits from the micro to macro—from person to person, within groups, organizations, and whole cultures too. Simply put, both joy and misery are catchy so be careful where and with whom you spend your time.
Good Company
I’m a big fan of good company, to recharge our batteries so we have even more resources to help out however we can. That’s how choosing our company carefully helps us to help the world.
The point here is that we have more reason to feel guilty for preventing our happiness than to feel guilty about letting it in. If we let happiness happen, we can spread it around, and sharing your light is just better for the health and well-being of all concerned.
Sure, some people may envy the well-being that you exude, but a good number of them may also find it an inspiration, so it’s worth a try. Okay, but how?
Just Smile
SMILE. That’s right, SMILE. A new study confirms what we may have heard before, that making the facial muscles into a smile really does work. When your facial muscles are smiling they stimulate the brain’s emotion center (amygdala) to release neurotransmitters that essentially fake out you and your brain into a happy state.
What if You Don’t Feel Like Smiling
If you just don’t feel like smiling, either because you think it’s not right, or because you have something on your plate or your heart that just makes it too hard, that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. But, If you want to, when you are ready, you can try this:
Hold a pen between your teeth. It makes the face into a smile and your brain hardly knows the difference between this and the real thing. Don’t believe it? Give it a try. Practice, practice, practice… see what happens and let us know in comments below.
Warm wishes,
Madelaine
Love it!
Thx Bill, i tried the pen and it worked. So does your comment 😉
The kid’s bowtie was enough for me.
I know, it’s impossible not to smile back at him. Thx for writing, David.
I’m a firm believer in the smile and try to remember to use it if it’s not coming naturally. 99 percent of times the other person smiles back!
And yours is really beautiful too, Jane. Thx for sharing with the world!
Bah, humbug. Another positivity freak? I guess this is why everybody fanatically pursues chemical agents, strips, etc., to whiten teeth or else a full set of replacement crowns and implants? Me and Oscar the Grouch can’t be bothered. I’m a Freudian so I know with certainty that the world is wretched and I deserve it, to boot. Like Woody Allen, I’m sure I can’t win and smiling is for hopelessly misguided and self-deluding optimists when there is nothing to sustain hope. Surrounding yourself with Good Company worries me, because they might be clueless dullards or cult followers, and like Rodney Dangerfield I don’t get no respect. OOPS. SORRY, just my Curmudgeon Self leaking out again. I apologize for raining on the parade, but it always seems like a rainy day to me. Frown c’est moi!
Yeh but, re “Good Company worries me, because they might be clueless dullards or cult followers.” clueless dullards or cult followers are not good company. how about send us all a picture of you with a pen between your teeth, and let’s see if we all smile.