Uncertainty is supposed to hurt: not too much, not too little, but just right. Some of us tolerate uncertainty better than others and, for those who can and do, the pain of uncertainty can be a plus. 

Humans Don’t Like Uncertainty

Studies show that we are calmer when we know for sure that pain is coming than when we are in the uncertainty of a 50-50 chance of pain. So, for example, it turns out that extended job uncertainty is more stressful and harmful to our emotional and physical health than actually losing a job. You can probably think of times in your own life when you got to the point where, good or bad, you just wanted to know already. That’s how bad the pain of uncertainty can be. And, here’s a good explanation from author and psychologist, Bryan Robinson, Ph.D:

Your survival brain is constantly updating your world, making judgments about what’s safe and what isn’t. Due to its disdain for uncertainty, it makes up all sorts of untested stories hundreds of times a day because, to the mind, uncertainty equals danger. If your brain doesn’t know what’s around the corner, it can’t keep you out of harm’s way. It always assumes the worst, over-personalizes threats, and jumps to conclusions. (Your brain will do almost anything for the sake of certainty.) And you’re hardwired to overestimate threats and underestimate your ability to handle them—all in the name of survival.

Using Uncertainty Well

So, that’s it. Uncertainty is trying to help you to survive and to thrive. The pain of uncertainty is an internal alarm system. An internal ADT. It’s yours. Everybody has one, it’s free, and there to let you know when something threatening might be coming down the pike. And tolerating the pain well also sets you up to capture whatever it is, just in case it happens to be something advantageous rather than menacing after all—let’s say so you could fine out that it was a rope not a snake. Our ancestors could actually use that rope. This is all good.

But when the pain of uncertainty overwhelms into a high state of anxiety or depression, either we don’t think straight or we don’t think at all. So either we make terrible decisions just to make the pain go away, any certainty feels better than the pain of no certainty at all. Or we are paralyzed with fear into doing nothing when, in reality, there may have been something useful we could have done. Either way, pain is in charge of critical life decisions, for ourselves and the people counting on us. And, this is not good.

Another, better, and entirely possible alternative is to take control and turn it over to the higher brain whose job it is to respond intelligently to your lower brain’s concern. The Power Breathing exercise on the “Complimentary…” pulldown at https://madelaineweiss.com/ will teach you, or refresh you, on how to kick things upstairs so your executive brain can do its thing once the alarm has gone off. Practice, practice, practice…see what happens and let us know in comments below.

Warm wishes,

Madelaine