‘New Year, New You’? Sounds good only maybe you said that before and, like the majority of people, well you know: 92% of resolutions fail, 80% of them failing by mid-February, and you may be making the same ones over and over again.

Why Make Resolutions? Why Set Goals?

So why even bother making resolutions or setting goals if you are only going to disappoint yourself? Because it helps.

But it can’t just be any old goals, just because someone, or maybe even you, think you should, whatever it is.

NO, to get from Goal Setting to Goal Commitment to Goal Success it has to be something that inspires us, something aligned with who we really are, with what makes us tick.

Some people like to capture their resolutions in a New Year Word, to help keep them going in the direction of their own dreams come true. I like words and have chosen one for myself this year: LOVE.

Already I am noticing what a great underpinning LOVE is to everything there is. Have to say it surprised me a little bit. Then again, a philosophy tutor did tell me once that there was only one emotion, and it is Love. Love is all there is as the song says. But I digress.

True, kind, necessary, beneficial…the Buddhist guidance for speech and conduct, is also a good Sherpa for this journey we call life.

Whatever it is, however we choose to remind and realign ourselves, a goal, a word, a principle…setting whatever it is can really help us make sure that what we think and do supports and serves who really really are and want to become.

Plus, a goal or intention well met gives us a sense of ‘can do’ that excites the brain’s motivational and reward system into wanting to do even more.

How Should We Set Goals?

Ok then, so how do we set goals? For some of the more popular methods, we have your SMART Goals, your (believe it or not) HARD Goals, and your WOOP Goals too, this last one sounding especially grounded in some pretty serious research. Links provided here so you can compare and contrast for yourself.

Naturally, I have a bias for my own repeatable method, in Getting to G.R.E.A.T. 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life, Based on Science and Stories, including my own. For now, however, let’s see if we can put in a nutshell where people go wrong.

Where Do People Go Wrong?

Again, goals or intentions that are not internally driven are less likely to succeed.

And sometimes people bite off too much or too little. Action steps associated with the goals have to be not so big that they overwhelm and shut us down altogether—but big enough to show the brain that there is something pretty cool going on, so it wants more. Some people call this the Goldilocks Principle for obvious reasons.

A central feature in my own method is preparing upfront for the normal, natural, expectable, predictable—resistance to any change that matters enough to be taken on in the first place. To know this is to be able to master the resistance, so it doesn’t get in the way.

How Do We Break Old Habits?

My answer to that is we don’t! Old saying, what we resist persists, so just leave the thing alone.

American architect, author, inventor Buckminster Fuller said it this way:

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.

To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

Yes! And another way to frame it is to think about goal setting for change as planting a new garden, tending it carefully, enjoying it, paying no mind at all to the old one, while the neural connections of the old habit just weaken and wither away.

How wonderful is that! Please know that I never recommend anything I haven’t tried myself. Works for me.

And please feel free to grab and use the Power Breathing exercise in “Complimentary …” pulldown at madelaineweiss.com

This will help you to put the smartest part of your brain in charge. See what you think and let us know.

Wishing a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful, and Prosperous 2022 to All.

Love,

Madelaine